Friday, July 8, 2011

Gym Nakedness

Gym nakedness is something any of us more modest gym goers have to deal with at some point in time. There's a locker room, there are showers, people get naked. Fact of life. Fine, I get it.

I have only showered at the gym once. There was a leak in the water main at my apartment, in the middle of winter, and the city had to get involved because of how close the pipe ran to the side walk, or something. Long story short, department of general services decided it would be a stellar idea to leave the water main totally exposed all night long (the temperature hit 0*F that night). Water main broke, no water, shower at gym.

I brought a giant bag of clothes, towels, flip flops (duh), etc. I fumbled about getting dressed in the tiny shower area without letting anything get wet from the shower-y ground. Absolutely 0 people saw any nakedness from me. But, that's just how I roll. I don't like being naked around strangers. I don't even really "enjoy" nakedness by myself.

However, there are plenty of people out there who have no problem stripping down and changing in the locker room no matter how many people are around. I am not one of them; however, I respect these people's confidence and do not stare or make faces or rush by awkwardly. I set my eyes on the sink, and keep walking. I watch myself in the mirror as I wash hands and splash water on my face post-workout. Mind my own business. I deal.

Now, a few weeks ago I had a gym nakedness experience that really went to an extreme. I shared this with a few people - they agreed on my "extreme" classification. So here goes:

I made my way through the locker room to my post-workout hand washing routine. As I approached the sink area I noticed a woman standing at the first sink (there are only 3) sans pants... or underwear. I didn't think too much of it right away. I mean, yes, I did think it was weird that she was just standing in the middle of the sink area with no pants on, but hey, it's the locker room. You have the lockers/changing area... an open doorway, three sinks and a bunch of mirrors (and two scales, grr), another open doorway, leading you to a giant row of showers. So yea, a little weird she was just hanging out in the sinks with no pants.

I chose the furthest sink (why crowd someone?) and started in with the cold water. The pants-less-wonder started in with something different. She lifted her right leg, set it on the counter, and began washing her ladybits with a washcloth in the sink.


It was all I could do not to stare. AND THEN...

She lathered up with the foaming HAND soap, and scrubbed her ass down too. You may recall from a few inches upward that there is a GIANT ROW OF SHOWERS a mere 3 yards away.

I was totally flabbergasted. Why would you wash your va-jay in a sink, amongst strangers, with HAND SOAP?!?!?!

After my pretty sweet 4 mile tempo today (4mi @ 10:08 average pace - can I get below 10 by the end of the month? do it do it), I went to the bathroom to wash my hands, and pretend that it was from the splashy sink that I could wring out my shirt... sweaty.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw nakedness. It kept getting closer. no pants! no pants!! She took the sink RIGHT NEXT TO ME (apparently she doesn't appreciate the "don't crowd someone if you don't have to" mantra that I live by), FACED ME DIRECTLY and took her sports bra off and started flinging it about. I'm assuming she was trying to turn it back right side out  in the manner of a 4 year old.

I grabbed my shit and left. I wasn't sticking around for Act II.


Natalie said...

That is gross!!!
Awesome job on the run! :)

Lindsey said...

Okay. EW. I've heard alot of bad gym stories, but I think this takes the cake. I even told my Mom about it. Seriously, Lady?!? Gag!

Awesome job on your run!!