mediocre runner

How do you deal with not doing what you set out to do?

I was supposed to run 5-6 miles today. By "supposed to," I mean that's what I set out to do. Training plan still hasn't started, so I'm just trying to maintain some decent weekly mileage/workout frequency.

Six miles didn't happen, three did. Three kinda slow-ish miles. There's a lot of reasons. I know I didn't hydrate properly yesterday for any significant running. Last night, I was at a wedding, drinking beer, and dancing around in heels. (Heels and I are not friends. I'm not what you would call "graceful" and fall in them all the time. also, they really bug my hips.) I was slow to get going, but I did what I could to try to get off to a good start this AM.

I have not been running outside a lot lately due to my seriously serious hate of humidity. However, i've recently come to terms with the fact that it will be good for me in the long run (he he) to acclimate and deal. It will make me a stronger runner, right?

Anyway, all of these things are kind of excuses. The bottom line is, I just didn't push through it. I gave up. I got to mile 3, I was close to my house, I was breathing really hard, I was hot. I just stopped.

I'm not going to beat myself up about it terribly. But I am going to beat myself up about it a little bit. I could've pushed through. I could've run further. I could've finished the damn 6 miles. Some beating up has to occur here. Running isn't always all rainbows and cupcakes. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it sucks. But pushing through those times are what makes us a better runner, a better person.

Today, I was just average. I'm admitting it to the interwebz in the hopes that next time I feel like copping out for no good reason (aka, not about to die) that I push those wimpy thoughts to the side and act like the runner I want to be.

Quitters don't get sub 2hr half marathons.

Gym Nakedness

Gym nakedness is something any of us more modest gym goers have to deal with at some point in time. There's a locker room, there are showers, people get naked. Fact of life. Fine, I get it.

I have only showered at the gym once. There was a leak in the water main at my apartment, in the middle of winter, and the city had to get involved because of how close the pipe ran to the side walk, or something. Long story short, department of general services decided it would be a stellar idea to leave the water main totally exposed all night long (the temperature hit 0*F that night). Water main broke, no water, shower at gym.

I brought a giant bag of clothes, towels, flip flops (duh), etc. I fumbled about getting dressed in the tiny shower area without letting anything get wet from the shower-y ground. Absolutely 0 people saw any nakedness from me. But, that's just how I roll. I don't like being naked around strangers. I don't even really "enjoy" nakedness by myself.

However, there are plenty of people out there who have no problem stripping down and changing in the locker room no matter how many people are around. I am not one of them; however, I respect these people's confidence and do not stare or make faces or rush by awkwardly. I set my eyes on the sink, and keep walking. I watch myself in the mirror as I wash hands and splash water on my face post-workout. Mind my own business. I deal.

Now, a few weeks ago I had a gym nakedness experience that really went to an extreme. I shared this with a few people - they agreed on my "extreme" classification. So here goes:

I made my way through the locker room to my post-workout hand washing routine. As I approached the sink area I noticed a woman standing at the first sink (there are only 3) sans pants... or underwear. I didn't think too much of it right away. I mean, yes, I did think it was weird that she was just standing in the middle of the sink area with no pants on, but hey, it's the locker room. You have the lockers/changing area... an open doorway, three sinks and a bunch of mirrors (and two scales, grr), another open doorway, leading you to a giant row of showers. So yea, a little weird she was just hanging out in the sinks with no pants.

I chose the furthest sink (why crowd someone?) and started in with the cold water. The pants-less-wonder started in with something different. She lifted her right leg, set it on the counter, and began washing her ladybits with a washcloth in the sink.

I
KID
YOU
NOT

It was all I could do not to stare. AND THEN...

She lathered up with the foaming HAND soap, and scrubbed her ass down too. You may recall from a few inches upward that there is a GIANT ROW OF SHOWERS a mere 3 yards away.

I was totally flabbergasted. Why would you wash your va-jay in a sink, amongst strangers, with HAND SOAP?!?!?!

After my pretty sweet 4 mile tempo today (4mi @ 10:08 average pace - can I get below 10 by the end of the month? do it do it), I went to the bathroom to wash my hands, and pretend that it was from the splashy sink that I could wring out my shirt... sweaty.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw nakedness. It kept getting closer. no pants! no pants!! She took the sink RIGHT NEXT TO ME (apparently she doesn't appreciate the "don't crowd someone if you don't have to" mantra that I live by), FACED ME DIRECTLY and took her sports bra off and started flinging it about. I'm assuming she was trying to turn it back right side out  in the manner of a 4 year old.

I grabbed my shit and left. I wasn't sticking around for Act II.

Three Things Thursssssssssssday!

1. I have an extreme phobia of bugs. For example, a fly just landed on my boob - at work. I FREAKED THE HELL OUT. I ran, I whined, I almost cried. My co-worker didn't even kill it! Rude. She did run around my cube with her shoe in her hand for several minutes though. My boss then informed me that when flies land on you it's because they are vom'ing up their food to re-eat it. Guess what, that sucker didn't have time to re-eat anything. Therefore, there is now microscopic fly puke on my boob. GROSS.

2. I just found a cold stone gift card in my wallet. I checked, it only has $3 left on it. That won't buy you bumpkis at Cold Stone, but I'm going anyway! YES.

3. I had subway for lunch - turkey sub with veggies and AVOCADO. Awesome. I pretty much inhaled it - about an hour ago. Just now found a giant piece of bread in my bra. Keeping it class folks! (it musta been wedged in there pretty good to survived the fly incident).

You're welcome for the insight into my crazy. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about running again.

"Anyone can run 20 miles, it's the last 6.2 that kill ya."

Well,  consensus seems to be if you're gonna train for a marathon, you might as well run one. Or, as my dad says: "Anyone can run 20 miles, it's the last 6.2 that kill ya." nice.

I think I should stop jumping the gun. I have "need-to-train" anxiety. Or, as Happiness One Mile at a Time calls it, an addiction, who knows. What I do know, is that my next training plan calls for an extra day of running as compared to my last (going from 4 days of running/week, to 5). Assuming this doesn't lead to any IT band problems, hopefully this will satiate my need for the challenge of higher mileage... for now.

I'm quite certain that soon enough I'll catch the marathon bug, and then we'll be on our next journey. But, I think I'm bug clear - at least as far as a 2011 marathon is concerned.

Let's talk summer time dehydration (hang on, I need to fill my water bottle...AGAIN)...

Seriously, the past few days have been rough on my body. I chalked Sunday's slow "long" run up to not having run more than 5 miles since the half. I told myself Monday's half-hearted cross training workout was due to really hard workouts the few days prior. I convinced myself it was ok to sleep in yesterday because... hmmm I can't really remember why now. But today's mile repeat attempt was a DISASTER.

My first mile was tough, as it should be. But as soon as I hit the end of the mile for my 'rest' interval, it hit - nausea. I was irritated and fought through it for another 3/4 mile of the next interval. Then the reflux happened and .... walking. I walked for .2 miles till my stomach calmed down and finished out a rough three mile run at 10:11 average pace (still pretty decent pace, for me).

The stomach issues. did. not. stop.


I was not even able to take a sip of water for an HOUR after the gym without feeling like it was coming back up. Some how I managed to force down some b'fast before work. I felt nasty all morning. Mid-morning, I ventured into the world of gotein shakes. (I won a giveaway on their facebook!) It helped! I felt a little better. But an hour or so after it was gone - more stomach nast, now accompanied by random hunger pangs.

Lunch was a turkey sandwich. It was good. But as soon as I stopped eating I felt horrible- for hours. Oh, hey, say the people I'd been complaining to, maybe you're dehydrated.

DING DING DING


Our central air sucks, and the bedrooms in our apartment are SO WARM, even with the AC on. Accompanied with the facts that I've 1. woken up sweaty every day, 2. sweat like a psycho every time I workout  and 3. I have not upped my water in take since the weather got warmer.



uh, duh. Definitely dehydrated. I was able to take small sips of water, every few minutes, for an hour or so after the lunch grossness passed, and I'm feeling better. I need to get some electrolytes in me, I think, and a pot of rooibus tea should also help.

Lesson learned: drink more water! Take my advice, don't get hit with the stomach nast!

Training Junkie?

First, I am having major anxiety that my training plan hasn't started yet. Maybe I'll just start a week early - this coming monday - and just do the first week 2x? I feel like I'm just floundering around (in flip flops, or otherwise) when it comes to my workouts. Results? Crazy lots of upper body work this weekend. I mean, it hurts to lift my cuppa tea.

Second: Post-Lake Placid several people (Nat and my dad included) asked me if 26.2 was next up for me. I had toyed with the idea, mid-training, of doing a full this fall. As training continued on, and I hit some difficulties, I began to doubt if I could do a half at all, let alone a full.
Obviously, I can run a  half. And I'm super excited to do another.

I don't know if I have the marathon bug...yet.

I do, however, have a ridiculous desire to train for one. I want to put in the work, and fight the good fight, and face the challenge, and (mostly) put in the mileage. High mileage really appeals to me, for whatever reason. But, I'm not sure if I've got the will to really run the whole race.

Is this weird? Does anyone else experience this desire to just train?
I've never been very competitive, so maybe that's got something to do with it.

For the time being, I'll just keep on running, and thinking about what might be next ;)

Changing it Up

For quite sometime now I've been eating eggs for breakfast. 2 eggs scrambled (no milk - that's kind of the point of all this, be patient!) with maybe some cheese and veggies. Every.Day. It does not take that long to scramble and cook eggs for all those people wondering "how do you possibly workout, make eggs, AND get to work on time." I also have no children to take care of in the morning. The cat's pretty low maintenance...

I like cereal. Well, I like certain cereals. I like them a lot. But what I don't like is milk. I don't think I'm lactose intolerant because I eat more than my fair share of cheese and ice cream (hey, maybe I should cut that out...). But just plain old milk makes me feel GROSS. It doesn't last long, but its enough for me to not want it. Also, milk goes bad super fast. For a while I was only using it in cereal because drinking a glass of it just seemed revolting (unless there was chocolate in it? then I wanted it, but it still makes me queasy). So - icky stomach + milk going sour wicked fast = no thanks.
Then I started running. Now, there were all these people/sites/articles telling me to refuel after long runs with chocolate milk. HELLO! I love chocolate. I tried. I really did. It DID help with recovery; it did my belly no favors. Then one day as I was meandering through the grocery store I noticed SILK DARK CHOCOLATE ALMOND MILK.

O.M.G

Of course I bought it. It was delish. I am hoping this has the same recovery benefits as regular milk - i can't imagine that it doesn't. AND it lasts "forever" as compared to traditional dairy milk. It has taken me approximately 3 months since the discovery of this dark chocolate almond milk to draw the connection that there is regular (not chocolate) almond milk, and I could put that in my cereal. (listen, sometimes i'm not so quick to the line, here. don't judge).

Yesterday I bought some delicious Special K Vanilla Almond, some fresh raspberries, and some plain old almond milk. Post-gym breakfast HEAVEN!!

The return of cereal to my breakfast menu.

And look! Dinah likes it too!!! jerk cat.

“It’s not your job to like me–it’s mine.” ~ Byron Katie

 

I saw this quote at the bottom of this daily engineering e-newsletter I get at work. I’d never heard of Byron Katie, so I looked her up. I don’t generally buy in to the whole commercialized “self-help” movement, but I REALLY liked this quote.

This quote spoke to me particularly because this really is the reason I fell in love with running. I needed to make it MY job to like me and stop seeking approval elsewhere.

I have found that through running I’ve developed more confidence in myself, I have goals that are both short and long, and all are attainable. By creating goals in running, I’ve begun creating, or re-creating, goals in other parts of my life as well. New interests have budded, and I’ve taken them seriously. Old interests have re-emerged and I’ve embraced them. I’ve begun to incorporate my new goal-setting attitude. It’s quite exciting, and not nearly as intimidating as I may have thought it was at this time last year. …Though it was about this time last year, that I really realized how off track I’d become.

Don’t get your heads in a tizzy, dear readers, I wasn’t blowing lines or turning tricks

I was; however, caught in a whirlwind of other people’s drama that I seriously wanted nothing to do with anymore. So, quite simply, I stopped. It was last 4th of July weekend when I just stopped. see ya, I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be around this negativity, unhealthy lifestyles, warped thinking. No. I was done.

I didn’t like where my life had headed and a lot of it really had to do with the fact that I put too much emphasis on what other people were thinking. This is quite the opposite of my attitude earlier in life where I couldn’t have given a flying hoot who thought what about me.

When I started running “for realsies” last August I redeveloped my sense of self, my sense of purpose. It’s been a struggle, at times, to not just give in and revert to the old ways (and sometimes easier) of just not caring, or not doing, but I have persevered thus far.  My running is improving, I’m excited about new races, and long term goals, and seeing my pace get faster, and my body getting stronger. I feel … more alive, on a daily basis. The air is sweeter, the smiles are bigger, I am nicer, the cats are cuter (ok, yea right, the cats were always super cute – which reminds me, in 2 weeks it’s my one year anniversary of volunteering at the shelter)

When I began reading running blogs, which was well before I started writing about my own running, I read several posts from various bloggers about how running made them better people, how it improved their life overall. To be honest, I was extremely skeptical that “running” could do this for people. Well, I’m more than willing to admit that I’ve been proven wrong.

Through running, I’ve taken ownership of myself, and my attitude about myself. It’s important to me to get up at 530 every day and get a run in, or a workout that will make me a better runner. It’s important to me to wake up early (though not quite as early) on weekends and do long runs, and fuel properly. I’m not interested in hitting up bars filled with a bunch of (likely underage) idiots until 3am. no thanks. A deep restorative sleep so I can get up and prove to myself that I’m worthwhile sounds way more fun. It’s important to me that I like who I am, and I couldn’t give two kitten turds if “you” don’t.  (that’s the royal “you” and in no way referring to any of my darling reader).

I saw this quote on Thursday and I have been wanting to blog about it since then. But it wasn’t until I actually started writing this post that I realized that it was a year ago this weekend that I believed the essence of what Byron Katie is saying (even if I didn’t know at the time that she’d said it).

I hope that you all are having a wonderful holiday weekend. I still have no plans, and I don’t really know if I’ll make any. I think I might rather like celebrating my own personal victory with my own, much improved, self.